Finer Virtues for the Sexual World

Does this mean that a lower frequency of sex in the couple is a sign of his sexual failure? Not in the least. If the “diet” is for both partners, they feel good together, they do not feel frustrated or resentful, and there are no questions to ask. They can make love several times a day but mechanically, without investing the relationship, because they do not really desire. Thus, a relationship can be sexual without being eroticized or vice versa. Because what makes eroticism, what sexualizes the bond, it is not necessarily the sexual act, but the desire.

The Ideas of Sexual Pleasures

Freud would therefore finally be right. Everything is sexual, since our desire is engaged. “And it starts with the orality in the baby.

Everything can be eroticized:a voice, a gesture, writes a letter, exchange a look in the subway. Depending on their history, some will invest more than others in sexual activity. For psychoanalysis, the taste for sexual activity is not a question of temperament but of psychic energy that one engages here rather than there. It is also, psychiatrist specializing in addictions, a question of genes. We now know that there are biological determinants that explain the differences in sexual appetite. Certain genes encourage the search for intense sensations and pleasure. Individuals with this genetic capital tend to have earlier and more active sexuality throughout their lives. They are also people who are more sensitive to addictions. This biological determinant influences sexual behavior by up to 30%. The other two-thirds concern early development (our first emotional ties) and the social context (family culture, culture of society). Yet it is not this genetic capital that will necessarily make sexuality an intense experience. Be it the physical sex or the furry sex games you can get the best from them only.

Enjoyment as conquest on oneself

What makes sex unique, what it brings essential to our lives, it is a pleasure that carries us and which, to happen, requires that we abandon the concern for our image, the control of our body, fear of being judged. “There is something ruthless in the encounter with ourselves to which desire and enjoyment call us,” says the psychoanalyst. All that we take for granted, our tastes, our certainties, our fears, everything shatters when we agree to abandon ourselves.

Including in the couple

It is not the habits that kill sexuality, it is the fear of discovering oneself, of showing unknown, disturbing facets of oneself. It is not to allow this disclosure. It is easier to incriminate the other (he does not propose anything to me) or the “mechanics” (I have erection problems) or prefer the idea of ​​a fading sexuality, rather than explore its diversity. Enjoyment as a conquest: on oneself, on our prejudices, our certainties, our fears, and on our unavowable propensity to seek security rather than freedom.

The revolution through orgasm

The work of Wilhelm Reich (1897-1957), psychiatrist and psychoanalyst disciple of Freud, known for his commitment to the liberation of the masses by sexual satisfaction, arouses a renewed interest. His theses resurface every time we try to understand barbarism (that of pedophile priests, assassins of Daesh) as an effect of sexual repression.

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